Indoor Soccer Report (for Hayes)

God, we fucking suck. Fuck. Fuck me, fuck shit cock shit cockmongrel. Cockmaster shit cunt shit. So the first game went a little something like this: we fucking lost 8-0, fuck me. Still, some highlights from yours truly: #1: headbutted a bald dude who looked like he was in the klan. His immediate reaction of 'Jesus Christ!' made me more scared than when I have to pass by the liquor store near Weidler at night. I'm sure he got over it.

Highlight #2 included nearly getting kicked out of the game while chasing the ball on breakaway and slide tackling right into the goalie's stomach. If the ref wasn't such a hippie, I would've at the very least gotten a card. I don't think I injured him as much as the bald dude, which sucks because the goalie was probably out there swingin' his dick around after getting a shutout. I also kind of grazed the back of some cupcake's leg, but I think she was just acting when she yelled after that.

If we don't win our next game, shit is fucked. And no riots either. :(