It's a tale that needs to be told.
Last summer I was lucky enough to travel to Ireland to do an internship and managed to make my way around Europe a bit. Of all the trips I took, the most memorable (or unmemorable if you take into account the black outs) had to be Amsterdam. We all know how awesome Amsterdam is, and in addition to the recreational drugs I also got to experience the beauty of the city, spend time with some amazing people, and see the best rock band in the world, The Hold Steady. If someone asked me a year ago what my make-a-wish would have been if I had cancer, my answer very well could have been to see this band in Amsterdam. Fast forward to when it actually happened, and I was on top of the world. After the show we were approached by the lead singer, Craig Finn, who asked if he could take our picture. It was an awesome gesture, and after talking to him for a few minutes I explained that I was living in Dublin but couldn't make it to the festival they were playing there the next weekend due to it being sold out. He enthusiastically suggested that he would try to get me on the guest list and that maybe I could show the guys some good pubs the night before. He gave me his personal e-mail address, and our minds were blown by his good nature.
We e-mailed back and forth that next week, but unfortunately it didn't work out. I was fine with that, I knew he tried and that it was much more than any other rock star would likely do for a fan he had barely ever spoken to before. I moved on with my life with that great experience in my back pocket.
hey man
unfortunately we got into dublin late last night, so no go. our tour manager isnt hearing back from the festival, so i dont think we can make this work. sorry about that. hope to see you again sometime. wish it could be here.
take care.
cf
Then, a couple weeks ago The Hold Steady embarked on another U.S. tour, on which they began debuting new songs, one of which is titled "Ask Her For Adderall." Being a child of the ADD generation who has been on prescribed adderall for years, I found this humorous as I know full well the recreational uses of the drug. We were going to the show they were playing here in Pontiac, so I decided to send him an e-mail letting him know I was looking forward to it, and mentioned that I would likely be able to relate to the new song. I was amazed and thrilled when he wrote me back.
kyle
that sounds great. hope to see you there. if you know how to get a hold of adderall, bring some down, they help me focus.
hope you are great.
cf
So obviously I was more than willing to meet up with him and give him a little something. He ended up giving me his phone number and telling me to text him when we got into town. The day of the show my two roommates and I loaded up on whiskey and headed out to do the funnest thing young kids can do in this world; get drunk and see The Hold Steady.
So as we pull into town I shoot Craig a text, and as it turned out we ended up at the same bar. I approached him since we were obviously planning on meeting up anyways, and we talked for about 15 minutes or so. I was nervous as hell but just drunk enough to keep it cool. It was a great conversation and it was obvious to me that he was simply a really nice guy. We talked about Mac's Bar, a local dive they apparently played years ago, Portland, and of course, adderall. We agreed to get together at the show and he left to get ready.
At this point I couldn't have been more excited. I was
actually hanging out with probably my favorite musician on the planet, and on top of that I was supplying him drugs. Unreal.
When we arrived at the venue I texted Craig again, and he said he would grab me after the first band's set. At this point I'm good and drunk and rocking out to some band (pretty awesome band actually) I'd never heard of and anticipating meeting up with Craig again. So the band finishes, at which point Craig comes up and says something like "hey man, you wanna come back stage with me quick?"
Fuck yes I do.
So we navigate the dark halls of The Crofoot Ballroom, which I commented to Craig reminded me a lot of the scene in Spinal Tap where the band gets lost. "HELLO CLEVELAND!"
We walk in to this room where there is nothing but a couple couches and a table with a bucket of beer on it, The Hold Steady, and a bucket of beer.
"Hey guys, this is Kyle."
I wave somewhat awkwardly and place the bottle of adderall on the table. Like I said, I'm pretty drunk by now and completely freaking out about being alone backstage with my favorite band. The band mull around, discussing what songs they are going to play that night. Craig says something like, "we playing Adderall tonight? No? Fuck it, we can always audible to it." I laugh and try to have casual conversation. I finish my beer and Craig gives me a couple more.
Before I know it I'm back out watching Art Brut with Craig and kids are coming up to him telling him how much they love his music. One kid explained that he just got out of jail and that the music really helped him get through it or something. Craig in genuinely grateful for all the praise. I introduced him to my good friend Hayes and wished him a good show.
The next hour and a half or so is a real blur. The show starts and we are up front drunk and rocking out like never before. I know the set is nearing an end when the intro to classic closer "Killer Parties" starts, and Craig says something along the lines of "I'd like to thank my friend Kyle Funk for coming down to see us from East Lansing." That's like, the third all-time life high-light in one night. Traditionally the crowd goes up on stage to jump around and celebrate the awesome time they've had together by hugging and high-fiving each other and the band toward the end of the song, but in my drunken stupor I climbed my ass up there a bit early, causing numerous others to follow suit. I can't really remember if this seemed to piss the band off, but Hayes, Zach and I jumped on an empty mic and sang the last verse of the song. Life high-light number four.
We went on our merry ways after the show, on an absolute high from what had happened. I couldn't have been more happy with the way things turned out. This is a story I hope to tell my kids someday, as I honestly feel that The Hold Steady is the best rock band of my generation.
The next morning Hayes and I drive down to Chicago to see them again. Sadly, I was physically incapable of attending the show (trust me, you don't want to know), and the fairy tale was over.
That is until I checked the internet this morning and saw
this article.
The band played three new songs, 'Magazines', 'Lord Don't Discontinue' and 'Ask Her For Adderall', the latter named after a prescription drug used to treat Attention-Deficit Disorder in children.
"I have to change the title of that song," said Finn. "We played it on one of the first nights of the tour, it got out on the internet and three days later someone came to one of our shows and gave me a whole bottle of the stuff. Whenever I've taken Adderall I can focus on things really clearly for four hours and then my head just really hurts."
The fact is, I don't really know what to say about this. On the one hand, Craig talked about me to NME, which is pretty fucking cool. On the other hand, it almost sounds like I just showed up with the stuff because he wrote a song with "adderall" in the title and threw the shit on stage. And the headaches. I meant to tell him to only take a half...
Then again, it is an interview with a big magazine, and there's really no way he could have said it any other way. A wise man informed me that my experiences with him are likely more true to life than a quote in a magazine. I believe that. These guys are fucking awesome and deserve all the praise they have and will continue to get.
Or maybe I'm just bitter that I got fucked over by my leasing company and have a raging hemorrhoid on my ass that I think might actually be cancer. I still love you Craig, I'm just a bit mixed up right now.
I don't know how to word any of that to make it sound like I'm not bitching. I'm really not. It's a hilarious story and I'm glad it's received such a fitting ending, regardless of the intentions. It has been a pretty incredible thing to experience.
Edit: Something has been brought to my attention, in the case of which I am way off base with my previous comments. What if when he said he has to change the title, he meant it will
have something to do with me bringing it to him.
"Ask Kyle For Adderall" or "Ask Funk For Adderall." That might be a tough one to explain to mom.
Highly unlikely, but that would be unfuckingreal.
